Confidence 101: 5 Steps to Becoming a More Confident You
“You have so much potential.”
Throughout my playing career, I heard these words more times than I can count. I can guarantee some of you likely have too. At the time, I’m sure my coaches thought they were complimenting me by saying this phrase. They thought they were firing me up to push a little harder and dig a little deeper at practice. But, these words did the exact opposite.
To me, I took this phrase and added “but…” to the end of it. Every single time I heard it. “Lindsay, you have so much potential but…” What came to follow that “but…” were words and phrases like you aren’t improving, you aren’t a starter, you didn’t score, you aren’t living up to what they thought. All my brain ever remembered were the words that followed the “but…”.
So, every time I stepped onto the court, these words ran through my mind. Of course, this didn’t help my performance at all. And after every game, I’d recall that annoying phrase. Oh, and the fact that I didn’t live up to my potential once again. I guess I was just sitting back and waiting for all of my potential to appear magically one day.
I had my emergency brakes on. I was playing pretty well, but I wasn’t performing at the level I knew I could have. Occasionally, I’d have a great game where I could see that potential everyone was telling me about. But you know, I never performed consistently at the level I believe I was destined to. Because guess what? I had my e-breaks on. I was full of confidence when performances went well. Then, I’d slam on the breaks, losing my confidence, when things weren’t going well.
Although confidence can seem like the hardest thing in the world to regain after bad games or performances, if you consistently apply these 5 steps, you will be cruising. Never needing to slam on the breaks.
5 Steps to Becoming a More Confident You
Be proactive with your confidence. Confidence precedes performance. Consistent confidence requires a full tank before warm ups. Don’t “wait and see” how you feel before deciding if you’re confident or not.
Make confidence your responsibility. Coach can’t take your confidence away. You have the choice to allow yours to be taken away. Work on skills that will ensure this does not happen.
Change your vocabulary. Slight changes to the way you speak can have significant improvements in your confidence. Start including the word “yet” to send a message to your brain about hope. Look for ways to say “get to” instead of “have to”. Eliminate the word “but”. As you saw from my example, the “but’s” were only harmful because all my brain remembered were the sabotaging words to follow.
Gain awareness of your body language. Recognize the difference in your walking speed and posture when you’re lacking confidence versus when you have total confidence. Try to sit up straight. Keep your head held high. And walk at a faster pace. You will feel energized and in control.
Visualize yourself as a winner. Confidence comes from seeing the things you want. See yourself as mediocre, that’s what you’ll be. So, visualize how you want to look, feel, and perform as a winner. Condition your brain for success.
Just as you would continue to practice your short putts, free throws, or starts off the block, continue to practice confidence building. You can never build enough to stop working on the skills that build confidence. You always want to have a steady and ready supply of confidence to fuel your tank.
